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One of our kids, Travis, has been giving a lot of attitude lately. He has said some mean things to me and to Paul. He's only five so I have been trying to figure out what his deal is. Why is he acting like this and who is he learning this from? We have tried to discipline him in different ways as well as talk to him about how hurtful his words have been.
One night he was outside playing and Paul sent him in because of his attitude. I didn't know what was going on but Travis came in all upset. As we were talking and I was feeling out what had happened, Travis gave it away. In a very random comment he said, "You and daddy say bad words." I was taken aback, but very calmly I asked him when we said bad words. He said, "When daddy gets home from work, you guys say bad words, like dumb." It was at this point that I had clarity.
Paul and I will discuss things going on in our lives after he gets out of work, whether it's relationships, finances, friends, or family. We talk about our days and if something or someone frustrated us. Our tones will rise and we give vent to our frustrations feeling better for talking it out. Not realizing that our five year old was picking up on our moods and it was affecting him negatively.
We are making a point to watch our tone when around our kids because they are very intuitive. Parents wonder why their children act out... most often it's because of us as parents. Paul and I have been working hard to make sure when we address any of our kids that we use a calm voice, even if we are disciplining them. But we know now that we have to be aware of topics that we talk about to each other because if our kids overhear it, they can react from what they hear. Now after the kids are in bed is the only time we can have those discussions. I hope every parent can catch what I'm throwing out there! It's such a hard subject to coherently understand and communicate. Good luck to ya'll.